As someone who’s suffered from chronic illness for over 13 years now it’s easy to focus on what you can’t do. I haven’t only had to suffer from the issues with my brain tumor, but also with horrible chronic back pain. There are times when all the health issues I’ve endured pile up at one time and I can’t get out of that rut of thinking about what I can’t do because of this illness or pain.
But yet there is something deeper in me that drives me. It’s a force that seems to pick me up each time I fall. Its my inner spirit and will power to do more and to help others. When I have a mission, a purpose I can do anything. The other day I was pretty down. I took a shower to see if it would help me feel better.
Now if you follow my blog you are going to learn one thing about me…I pray in the shower and I have my best thoughts and ideas in there too. It’s something about being alone with my thoughts and the cleansing away of whatever troubled me before. It provides clarity. I was taking my shower and I was trying to figure out what my future holds. If you’ve ever had brain surgery doing this during your recovery might not be the easiest thing to think about. Before all I could do was focus on what I couldn’t do anymore because of this damn tumor and well the surgery and my slow hard recovery. But I sit there and thought…I’m really good at motivating. People tell me all the time how inspiring I am. I wonder about them thinking that about me…but apparently I am to some. I finally came to the conclusion that I could use my battle with the brain tumor as a way to raise awareness about Acoustic Neuromas. I could use it as a way to tell my story and motivate others. I could also use my story about my battle with chronic health issues as a way to help others and motivate them, while also raising awareness too. And then my thoughts turned away from what I can’t do. All of a sudden I had so many ideas of what I can do. This was an ah ha moment for me. It lit a fire in me. See I’ve known my purpose in life has always been to help others. I haven’t always figured out just how. And right now during a time when I feel so powerless due to my health I thought I couldn’t do anything. That any help I could offer was way down the road once I am better. Well I was wrong to think that. I see now I can help now. I can use my voice which is quite loud. I can use it to help others not feel alone in these very hard journeys with chronic illness. I can use it to spread the word and raise awareness. I could help this way NOW. So this is why I created this blog. Because though I have thought about 100 things I can’t do…I finally started thinking about what I CAN DO.
I hope my words inspire and motivate you all to look inside and see what you can do now.